Rollin' and Tumblin'

Hey @RickSantorum

“The purpose of separation of church and state is to keep forever from these shores the ceaseless strife that has soaked the soil of Europe in blood for centuries.” James Madison

Hey @RickSantorum

“Strongly guarded… is the separation between religion and government in the Constitution of the United States.” - James Madison

Antidepressants

Today @robdelaney reposted a wonderful essay about depression and I encourage all of you to read it. But if I may, I’d like to add my two cents.

It may have gone mostly unnoticed, but I stopped posting on tumblr about one year ago. I also stopped tweeting for many months. The reason I vanished from the interwebs was depression. Severe depression.

I have battled depression on and off my entire life. Luckily, back in 2003 I saw a doctor and was put on medication that worked wonders. Unfortunately by the summer of 2010 I found myself back in the depths of a depression that words can’t really describe. While I clearly did not take my own life, I reached a point where I could understand how someone could take such a drastic step.

But I’m not here to talk about my depression. This past weekend I saw a news report about a researcher who conducted a study on antidepressant drugs and had come to the conclusion that they were no more effective than placebo’s. Sugar pills! My goal today is to call BULLSHIT on this conclusion.

Over the course of 14 months my doctor and I tried one medication after another to fight my depression. With each new pill I had a very subtle feeling that I might be getting a little better. This usually occurred a week or two after starting the new meds. However, within a month or so it was clear that none of these medications were helping at all. I’ll admit that those short periods of relief were most likely the result of the placebo effect. I had WANTED these pills to help, and I had EXPECTED these pills to help. I was taking positive steps toward feeling well once again. I was in the perfect mindset for the placebo effect to win the day. But it didn’t, my depression had won out again. It was too powerful. And too real. I was as low as I had ever been.

Eventually I developed a mindset that no medication was going to help. I felt that I had tried so many different medications the likelihood of any drug helping me was slim at best. I had been defeated. Hardly an attitude conducive to the placebo effect. And yet, I tried again.

It was September of last year when my doctor prescribed a very common antidepressant that I had yet to try. I expected nothing. I was just going along, fully prepared for another failure. Then around mid October I noticed something about myself. I felt normal. I started finding pleasure in life again. I wasn’t some hysterically happy nincompoop. I was NORMAL. This drug worked. Why this drug worked while all the others didn’t I have no idea. And I’m thrilled to report that five months after starting this medication it is still working.

I am not a scientist, but it seems to me if placebo’s were truly as effective as antidepressants then any one of those previous prescriptions could have done the job simply due to the placebo effect. They did not. Not even close.

My point. If you are depressed, please see your doctor. If you see any reports in the news about the placebo effect and it’s effect on depression I again ask that you see your doctor. I have no doubt that the placebo effect does work in certain situations, but if I had relied on placebo’s to relieve my depression there is no telling what state I’d be in now. It is my opinion that antidepressant medications do indeed work. Please, if you need them, use them.

Salsa

Went grocery shopping with my wife. It’s always a good time.

We were getting ready for a party. My family was coming over to celebrate a birthday and we needed supplies. One of the items on our list was salsa. Everybody loves salsa. Did you know that? Well, maybe not everybody in the world, I mean everybody in my family. And they are the only ones invited. Sorry.

When we got to the store we split up. The salsa was on my list. My wife stopped me before I walked off to remind me to get the ‘right’ salsa. I wasn’t aware there was ‘wrong’ salsa! And said so. She looked at me with a version of the ‘stink eye’ only she is capable of. It’s frightening. Then starting with a whisper, and ending with a shriek she said “The kind with THE CORN IN IT!”

Okeedokee then! I walked off quickly.

(Guys, that’s the best thing to do when the shit is going to hit the fan and you have no idea why. Just go. Quickly.)

I walked down the salsa isle and my wife went down the adjacent isle. For some reason I decided to aggravate her a little, and since we were separated by tons of foodstuffs I felt pretty safe.

“What kind of salsa did you want?” I shouted

“Stop being an idiot.” Was the response.

“I’m trying!” I said. “But what kind?”

“I told you what kind!” She said

“I dunno, you said something but I didn’t understand you because you mumble.” I said with a silent giggle.

At the top of her lungs she screamed. “I SAID GET THE KIND WITH THE MOTHERFUCKING CORN IN IT YOU COCKSUCKER!”

The store fell silent as people began looking around for the insane person. A guy in the isle with me gave me a ‘brothers-in-arms’ kind of look that only married men share. I raised my hand to him in salute, and he replied in kind. Victory is mine.

felinefaytale asked: Ok, Tis' the season - What is your favorite holiday movie and why?

“A Christmas Carol” (1951) starring Alastair Sim. Beautifully done, and a favorite since I was a child. A close second is “A Christmas Story”. BUMPUS!

felinefaytale asked: Beside family or friends (givens), what are you thankful for?

Aside from family and friends the thing I’m most thankful for is having a career that I enjoy. I never dread Monday, I’m constantly challenged, and I work with some very good people.

I’m also thankful that in many ways I’m still a child. I still love Bugs Bunny, roller coasters, and bologna and cheese sandwiches.

How To Get Unfollowed on Twitter. Advice From The Great Unwashed.

I thought it would be funny to write one of those dissertations on my follow-back policy as if I were some twitter bigwig, but then I realized that it might be insulting, and that’s never my intention. So instead I’m going to turn the tables and tell the twitter nobility how to get me to unfollow them. Sounds like fun doesn’t it? Sure it does!

There are three things* you can do to help me say bye-bye.

1. Complain about the burden placed on you by your followers, many of whom would star the hell out of you if you simply tweeted FART. You wanted followers, why else would you be here? Now that you’ve got bucket-loads there’s no need to tell us we’re an annoyance. That is itself, annoying.

2. Mail it in. If you stop trying, I’ll stop paying attention. Much like sex.

3a. Include in your #FF for someone a mention that they will star your tweets.

3b. Participate in Follow Friday only to offer up a short list of other “comedic geniuses” that are also blessed with thousands of followers. Here’s a secret. It’s the same list over and over and most of us already follow the people you suggest. You’re not being very helpful. Put a little effort into it. (See point 2)

Instead, take a few moments to look through your expansive list of followers and find a few who are funny and could use some promotion. Say, people with less than 200 followers who deserve more. We’d all enjoy finding someone new, and you end up doing something nice for a fellow human being. It’s easy, and you get some nice karma points!

Bear in mind, even with thousands of followers most of you are known by only a teeny tiny percentage of the total twitterverse. And as for real-world fame, most of you have none. Remembering this might help you to stay humble. I sincerely do appreciate your talent. However, at the end of the day they’re just jokes people. Ninety-nine percent of which are forgotten within seconds.

Now go make me laugh. Or else!

*Actually four.